The Narrator
by Jessicajoanne1
Summary: ON HIATUS - Regina Mills has always wanted her happily ever after but she has always struggled to cope with the voice inside her head, a voice she has become to know as the narrator. Will the help from an outlaw be what she needs to get her happy ending?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter one.**

She didn't know it yet, but Regina was about to meet the love of her life...

Is something Regina Mills wishes her narrator would have said this morning.

But just like every other morning, that sentence is never uttered. So instead she wakes up, fixes her usual coffee (milk, one sugar) and goes about her morning routine; scanning social media, applying her makeup and skipping breakfast as usual in favour of those extra few minutes of sleep it provides.

At 35, Regina really thought her life would be a bit more put together, or at the very least, a little less lonely. Isn't being a single 30 something living in a small town supposed to be endless nights of cocktails and laughs with friends, while enjoying the lingering gaze from men when you're wearing that outfit that shows well, a bit too much skin?

Instead, she spends most of her free time at home, tucked up in a blanket on the sofa catching up on TV, wearing the same red flannel pajamas she's worn for a week and eating things one shouldn't really be eating if they are going to continue to repeat the words: 'I will start that diet' every god damn morning.

But her problem is not the lack of friends, or opportunities of a good time, of late nights, or long weekends in a foreign city. No, Regina's problem is that she listens a little too closely to her own little narrator that she's conducted in her mind. The one that tells her that she would meet the love of her life if she bothered to lose weight or fix her hair. The one that insists the only reason she doesn't have plans at the weekend isn't because her friends are just busy with their new partners but because they have in fact grown bored of her - didn't really like her in the first place. The one that repeats she's doing a terrible job at work and at life in general, so why even bother thinking happiness is something that will be granted to her now?

Don't get her wrong, she is not insane, she knows none of the things her little narrator says to her is true. But it never has been easy to silence the negative thoughts we have, has it?

Regina has become accustomed to the narrators backhanded remarks, it's just second nature to her now, hearing the little whispers in her head telling her she's not good, never has been, never will be, which is probably why over the years the voice has gotten that much louder, louder than the ones that used to fight back. Now all she is left with is the quick witted voice that apparently seems to detest every little thing she does.

She knows that having a narrator probably isn't something any normal person has to put up with but it has been with her for as long as she can remember, it never just popped up one day, it was just always there. Quiet at first, but still present.

Apparently a narrator's job is to stick to the script. But Regina's narrator didn't exactly follow protocol. Instead of narrating on her journey throughout life, it chose to tell her when it thought she was messing something up, or wasn't doing something just right, clinging to her like a shadow, suffocating any light that could reach the corners of her mind. Which is how she began to picture the narrator to look like a grey cloud hanging above her constantly, the same draining voice she had grown accustomed to, but a voice none the less that she could ever place from someone she heard before. A voice specifically created for Regina, by Regina.

She knows deep down it's her fault her life is this way, if she didn't do what it told her to do in the first place, she wouldn't be sat at home night after night sulking into yet another apple turnover. If she just put herself out there, maybe listened to her own voice for once, maybe things could change.

 _'Ha, fat chance of that happening'_ it perks up, knowing full well she has no chance of listening to her own advice, she isn't loud enough or by any means strong enough now to block it out. Which is why she can continue her daily morning routine with nothing more than a scoff of her breath and an exaggerated eye roll at her own reflection, tucks her dark brown hair behind her ear and continues to apply her make up in front of the mirror she has sitting on her desk. It's an unusually cold day in Storybrooke for the middle of April, the mist of the morning air sitting heavily as the sun struggles to finds its way through the clouds. She lets out a heavy sigh as she stirs absently out the window, counting the minutes down that she has left to get ready before her day in work begins.

 _'Should you be applying that much lipstick?'_ The narrator questions as Regina applies her new MAC in vogue matte lipstick, 'who are you trying to impress anyway?' another eye roll follows this comment, you would think the narrator would know better than to ask that question when the answer is so clear. Literally, Every-Fucking-One. Regina thinks as she grabs an off white shirt from her wardrobe to go with the black straight leg pants she's already chosen for the day _. 'You know you shouldn't really wear fitted pants, stick to dresses to hide that muffin top'_ the narrator continues as Regina stirs herself down in the mirror.

At 8.30 am Regina leaves her house, double checking to see if there was any post on her way out that she may have missed from the day before. One letter from a credit card company and the other a 'sorry we missed you' note letting her know she could pick her parcel up from the post office. 'Typical' she thought as her heels clicked on the marble flooring of her hall 'why can't they just leave it on the porch?!' she mutters to herself as she shoves open the door and makes her way to work.

Working in marketing has always had its perks to Regina, the hours are typical 9 - 5 if you don't count the extra hours she will throw in every now and again when there's a new client or an extra busy news day, the work load is ever changing so she's hardly ever left with a 'dull day in the office' that she's heard many complain about, it helps the location is handy for her to be able to make it to work within 20 minutes of her leaving home.

Her favourite part of her job though is being able to work from home when she needs to. Which can be quite often considering she has a weekly battle with the narrator. Some days she can simply ignore it, throws it to the back of her mind and continue her work, but other days it gets too much, making her feel like she's being drowned by her own thoughts. Anxiety rippling through her like a plague of insults stinging her skin, making her muscles strain and her chest tighten. On days like these, Regina stays at home, hides under her blanket with her laptop, blasts Pearl Jam as loud as she can until her work is done, her stomach is growling and the narrator has finally said everything it could for the day.

At exactly 8:50am she arrives outside her office, pushing open the doors and making her way over to the lift in her office building.

"Morning!" Kathryn says from the reception, playing with the ends of her blonde ponytail, "did you have a good weekend?"

"Hi Kathryn," Regina answers with a small smile, "yes it was lovely thank you, did you?"

 _'Liar. You did fuck all. How is that lovely?'_ the narrator, perking up as usual, "can't you just be quiet for one hour?!' Regina thinks as she listens to Kathryn describe her Friday night out with the rest of their colleagues in Aesop's tables, the local hot spot for the office folk who want nothing more than a crisp cold drink after a long day in work.

 _'Oh would you look at that, another event you weren't invited to.'_ The narrator digs, just scratching at the surface.

Regina has to remind herself that she was in fact invited. Several emails were sent last week reminding her of the celebratory drinks for John in finance, he had just got a promotion and everyone was invited to join him for few drinks after work, including Regina, much to the dismay of her narrator. She had even bought an outfit for the occasion, brought it into work, hanging it up in the free closet space they have, but by the time 5 o'clock rolled round, and people were heading out to the bar, she had looked around and noticed that she had been left behind. Sure she could have looked up earlier and noticed that someone had called over to her saying "we will see you there when you are done" but she hadn't, instead she was too busy signing off the latest press release on the upcoming guidance product the company was pushing. So instead of heading to the bathroom to get ready after turning off her computer.

She heard the narrator nagging to her _'I told you no one liked you, they didn't even bother to wait.'_ which led Regina to leave work alone as usual. Walking the 20 minutes home holding back the tears and crawling under her duvet for another night of _'who hates you more'_ conducting by the narrator itself.

She continues her pleasantries with Kathryn, telling her she hopes she had fun and laughing when Kathryn jokes 'yes, but not too much' with a subtle wink that has Regina laughing, not quite reaching her eyes but not something that Kathryn would be able to pick up on. The lift pings, which has Regina nodding at Kathryn as a way of goodbye, taking a step into the lift and pressing number 4.

 _'I can't believe you have just nodded at her. Who the fuck do you think you are, too good to say a simple goodbye now?'_ Regina had hoped that embarrassing moment would slip past the narrator but nothing ever does. She takes a deep breath as she waits for the lift to get to her office floor, counting back from 10, trying to calm down, keeping the anxiety at bay, there is no need to get worked up about a simple gesture, calm down, she thinks to herself over and over again, all the while hearing the narrator laughing at how pathetic she is.

The lift pings, she's at her floor and she uses the small amount of control over her body to walk out of the lift, reach into her bag to find the key card she needs to get through the doors, pressing it against the fob and taking the 30 or so steps over to her desk. She shrugs out of her coat hanging it on the back of her chair and reaches into her bag to take one of her anxiety pills. Just the one, she only needs the one, just to calm down a bit more before logging into her computer.

Taking a deep breath and a quick walk over to the water fountain in the kitchen she manages to smile at the rest of her colleagues walking in and settling at their desks, making as a little polite 'office' conversation as she can muster with those that stop by the kitchen to try to cling onto the last resemblances of their weekend. A long slow gulp of her water has her relaxing that little bit more; she concentrates on the way the ice cold water feels against her throat, moistens her lips and soaks her dry mouth. After two more gulps and a few seconds with her eyes closed, back turned to everyone still flittering about in the kitchen, she feels herself calming, the weight of the anxiety attack lifting off her shoulders, keeping the narrator at bay at least for now so she can get on with her morning.

"Hey girl, everything alright?" Regina hears as she's making her way over to her desk, placing her water bottle down on the table and switching on her computer. Without even looking she knows its Zelena, her work-wife, the one person in the office that makes coming in when she has to tolerable. They have worked together now for 10 years, both had started at Clock Tower Marketing on the same day and had stuck together like glue ever since.

They were complete opposites; Zelena was tall and slender, had a beauty that would make anyone double take and a body that made models green with envy. Her red hair was always worn below the shoulders and curled just in the right way that it looked she had just spent the day at the beach and her wardrobe could only be described as flawless.

But it wasn't her looks that had people pouring themselves over each other to get to her; it was her brighter than life laugh. One of those laughs that came right from the stomach and oozed out of her so effortlessly that every time you heard it you would believe you were the centre of her world. And that's why Regina loved her; she made her feel special, like she was the only friend Zelena needed. The narrator on the other hand, being level headed as always, reminds Regina that Zelena is in fact like that with everybody, that she isn't special and wouldn't even be classed as an associate of Zelena's, let alone a friend.

Regina on the other hand was short, barely reaching 5 ft 5, wore a size 8 on a good day and thought she was a bit too curvy. Her brown hair was nothing but ordinary and the light had left her brown eyes years before. If it wasn't for the narrator's reminder of her weight, Regina would actually know her body was more than ok, she would know that her hourglass shape was something that was admired by many, but there is only so many times you can stir at yourself in the mirror and hear the words ugly repeating themselves over and over again that you finally give in and start thinking it too.

"Oh hi Zelena" Regina manages to muster after logging into her computer and scanning her first few emails, "yes I am fine, just one of those mornings! How are you? How was your weekend with Bobby?"

"I am in LOVE!" Zelena practically screeches, loud enough for the whole office to turn around looking at them both. "Regina honestly he is amazing, he is definitely husband material, I am already planning the wedding in my head, you will need to plan the hen do of course, I can't leave that up to my sister, that's a fucking disaster waiting to happen." Zelena continues as she perches on the side of Regina's desk.

"Didn't you only meet this guy a few weeks ago? How are you already planning your wedding?" Regina chuckles to herself, it's just like Zelena to fall madly, deeply in love with a guy she only knows because they both swiped right on Tinder.

"Just because we only met a few weeks ago doesn't mean it isn't true love, I am telling you, he is my soul mate. We just fit, like a hand in a glove, or whatever the expression is, we are a perfect match!" Zelena now holds that dreamy look in her eyes that most people get when they first start falling in love, the look of pure innocence and hope of what is to come. Regina just laughs at her and tells her that he sounds like a dream before saying; "now get off my desk, I have work to do."

Its 1:30pm before Regina manages to peel herself away from her work and grab some lunch. It had been a hectic morning, a new client had to be shown around the office, her boss and taken the morning off so it was Regina's job to give the grand tour of how things are done at Clock Tower Marketing. She had taken the new client, Robin Locksley, the head designer at Bows Designs, around the different departments, explaining what their roles were within the company, trying to impress the client with as much as she could muster about a financial company that would normally have people suppressing yawns. Normally she wouldn't mind rattling on about the company to some stuffy old guy, she knew what to say and how to say it but something about her was off today, must be the lovely pep talk she got off the narrator this morning, or the fact that the guy she was approaching couldn't more further away from a stuffy old guy.

"Hi I'm Regina, it's nice to meet you Mr…"

"Robin, Robin Locksley" he offers as he takes the hand she's holding out.

"Well Robin, I suppose you left your bow and arrow at home huh?"

 _'A Robin Hood joke seriously? That's the best you can do?'_ The narrator digs which has Regina wincing, gaze automatically going to the floor as she tries to brush it off, not quite hearing his chuckle and response of "actually I did, milady" she's too busy fighting her own internal battle, trying to pull together whatever dignity she has left to get through this tour.

She finds herself stumbling over her words, walking slightly off on her heels that were a little too high now that she thinks about it. But Robin is taking it all in his stride, pursing a small smile when she forgets the name of one of her colleagues. Saving her by introducing himself; "Hi I'm Robin, it's nice to meet you…"

"Leroy! Its Leroy." Regina suddenly remembers, embarrassed over how high pitch her voice went.

"Yes, its Leroy, nice to meet you too, I hope you're enjoying your tour here and that Regina isn't boring you too much with all the nonsense that goes on in this place." Leroy remarks, giving her the much needed breathing space before she continues with the tour.

"So far it's going well, I have to say I really am quite impressed with the way its run around here." Robin says as he scans the room, that smile still on the tip of his lips.

"I just have one more department you need to meet and then I believe you have a meeting with the board to discuss the contract you're working on?" Regina asks quietly, she suddenly feels nervous, can feel the skin on the back of neck prickling with sweat, she runs the back of her hand against it and brushes the hair out of her face before continuing; "they are just over here if you would like to follow me." she turns her back but not before hearing Robin say; "Of course, lead the way."

She takes them over to investment management, where the director Neal is taking his time to explain what it is they do, Regina doesn't pay much attention, this type of work always goes straight over her head, she's in marketing after all, it's not her job to pay attention to their client's investments, and it's her job to get the clients. So she uses the time to calm her breathing and take a good look at Robin. He's young, older than her perhaps in his late 30's but young enough to have her wondering how he is here speaking on behalf of his company and not one of the owners of Bows Designs.

He's tall too, his broad shoulders have her thinking he might play football every so often, his hair is a darker shade of blonde and his eyes are a captivating blue. She gives him a quick look up and down, noting the tailored suit he's wearing, navy, with a crisp white shirt and maroon tie, his shoes she notices are perfectly clean.' You can always tell a lot about a man by the type of shoes he wears' her mother used to tell her. She never really understood the expression but she's relieved to see that he at least knows not to wear Converse with a suit.

 _'Do you actually think you have a chance with this guy dearie? Is that why you are staring at him so hard?'_ she hears the narrator ask, 'you can't possibly think, this man would show you any interest.' her right hand is resting on her hip, fingers lightly pinching at the skin to try and maneuver her thoughts to the slight pain she's feeling rather than the thumping the narrator is giving her in her head.

 _'Don't embarrass yourself with this one. You do not stand a chance. Just look at you.'_ And that's all it takes for shoulders to drop slightly, her hand leaving her hip to come to her hair pushing it behind her ear again where it's still too short to stay put. Her gaze flicks from Robin to Neal slowly as she musters up a smile and interrupts "I think Robin has a meeting he needs to get to, so Neal if you don't mind?" Neal takes that as his cue to leave, "Ah yes of course, well Robin I hope to be seeing you again soon. Take care." both men shake hands as Regina leads the way out of the office towards the lifts where she can take Robin up to the 6th floor for his meeting.

"Well he sure does like to talk doesn't he?" Robin muses as they wait for the lift. "Yeah sorry about that, he gets really into it, after all this time I think my brain just automatically switches off when he talks so if there is anything you need to clear up, I am not the person for it." She looks at him when she hears him chuckle, his smile soft, making her do the same. "Don't worry it's not my job to understand either" he says as he taps the briefcase he has hold of, "just my job to sign the papers."

The lift doors open at that and they walk the few steps it takes to get to the main boardroom; "Here we are, I hope you enjoyed your tour, sorry it took so long." Regina says as she tries to grab the handle of the door but stumbles on her right heel and knocks into his side. He automatically grabs her arm stopping her from falling over which has her internally kicking herself, does she really have to be so pathetic?

"Are you okay?" he asks looking her up and down with concern; "Yes, yes I'm fine sorry about that, serves me right for wearing these heels." she mumbles turning her gaze from the floor to his eyes, her cheeks suddenly turning a slight colour of crimson. He chuckles slightly, lips turning into a smile that has Regina automatically feeling calm, like she's breathing in the fresh ocean air, she smiles back at him and holds out her hand. "It was nice to meet you Robin." She says as he takes her hand in his, presses his fingers against hers for a few moments before saying; "It was nice to meet you too, Regina, hopefully I will catch up with you another time." And at that he nods his head and opens the door to the boardroom, leaving her with another one of his trademark smiles before closing the door.

 _'Damn now that's how you say goodbye.'_ She hears the narrator say as she takes a minute to go over what Regina just said. Catch up another time? What does that mean? Does he really want to see her again?

 _'Don't go thinking too much into this, he is not into you. He was being polite. You're not his type.'_ She hears the narrator say, and on this one she has to agree. There is no way he likes her, no possible way he can either. She's nothing, a nobody.

 _'Nobody will ever love you, dearie. Don't go getting your hopes up.'_ Regina makes her way out of the office for some much needed fresh air, grabbing lunch on the way before getting back to her desk ready to forget about Robin Locksley.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N so I have changed the rating to M and a trigger warning for assault just incase people do see it as assault.**_

 _ **Chapter 2**_

 _'So you're just going to spend the day in bed huh?'_ The narrator muttered to Regina as she hid her head beneath her pillow, breathing in the musty smell that had started to linger from not moving out of her room for a solid 48 hours.

 _'Maybe get a shower. Your hair is basically just oil now.'_ It continues _. 'No wonder you're so alone. Who would want to lay in bed with a woman who couldn't even drag her arse into the shower?'_ Regina blinks back the tears; she knows that's what it wants. Likes to fester on her sadness, builds its strength through the tears that drop out of her sunken eyes, brings it joy to see her weakened, vulnerable and naked to its hate. Closed up by the deep dark surrounding it has built in her mind, crawling its way into her heart, blackening her soul until there is nothing left.

No hope, no happiness, just bleakness of the destroyed life she has created for herself.

Regina hadn't set out to have her week end up like this. After her awkward tour with Robin Locksley, the day had seemed to perk up a bit. She had finished off the rest of the day's work and had left the office by 5:10pm calling in at Granny's to get her favourite Burger. By 5:40, she was home back in her red flannel pajamas flicking through the channels on her sky box taking large bites of her burger.

 _'Of course you got a burger instead of a salad dearie.'_ the knot in her stomach began to pull as the next bite got caught in her throat.

 _'What? Where you expecting company? Or is your fat arse only happy when the button of your jeans pops opens from shoving too much down your throat.'_ It relents. Never giving Regina the chance, she should have known better really, what was she thinking getting a burger? She could have taken the left overs for lunch the next day, she thinks, or even have saved it for tea tomorrow.

 _'We both know that you wouldn't have any left overs. Stop lying to yourself.'_ Regina drops the bite she was eating back into the box, wiping her grease ridden hands on her pajama pants, pulls a cigarette from the packet resting on the arm of her sofa, twisting the lighter just right to watch the tip burn as she takes a long breath in.

 _'Because smoking is much better. Least it will kill you faster.'_ At that she takes another drag, blowing the smoke out into her living room, watching as it twists and turns in the light shining from her TV, she can hear a repeat of Friends playing in the background but she isn't paying attention. Instead she takes another drag of her cigarette, flicking the ash out onto the rest of the burger in front of her to stop herself from eating any more.

 _'So there are people dying of starvation out there and you think the answer to your problems is wasting food? Great.'_ All she can hear is the judgment coming from the narrator. Laced with poison that is slowly twisting in her mind, being blown away with every breathe she lets out as she continues to take long drags of her cigarette, using the time to regain her composure, on her last drag she stumps the rest out into the leftovers, taking the box into her kitchen and dumping it into the bin.

This is not happening today, she thinks as she moves out of her kitchen and makes her way into the bathroom, turning on the tap in her bath, listening to the way the water sounds as it hits the bottom, filling the room with steam and the pleasant smell of lavender as she pours a generous scoop of bath oil into the tub. She begins to count down from 10, letting her mind wash away the niggling thoughts the narrator is pushing to the forefront of her mind. You did well today, she thinks as she begins to recall her day, from joking with Zelena this morning to meeting Robin and making the deadline with the new article. You did well today, she repeats as she peels off her pajamas, throwing them into the hamper and sinking into the boiling water, letting the heat flush her skin red, it pinches slightly but it feels nice, like she is washing away the narrator, watching it evaporate with the steam.

Her phone pings then, so she wipes her hand dry with the towel laying on the floor next to the bath, scooping it up she notices she has missed two calls from her mother, internally kicking herself for missing her calls yet again, she sends her a quick txt **, 'I will call you back soon, just a hectic day, hope you're good'** she sends it quickly and opens up the unread message from Zelena.

 **Drinks tomorrow, my treat x**

Regina debates whether drinking is such a good idea when she doesn't really have a handle on her anxiety. But she can't stay at home another night alone, maybe some time with Zelena out of the office will help, which is what has her texting back **'sounds great x'**

She peels herself out of the bath, wrapping a large white towel around her frame and crosses the hall into her bedroom, turning off the lights and sinking into her double bed. She reaches into her night stand and pulls out the sleeping tablets she keeps there, popping one into her mouth and takes a gulp of the water that's been sitting there since this morning. She waits for sleep to pull her under then, hoping that the tablet will keep the narrator at bay at least for the night.

Regina bolts up at the sound of her alarm the following morning, drenched in sweat, quilt tossed to the floor. It takes her a second to gain her bearings, taking a few deep breaths to focus on the feel of the sheet beneath her, the cold air that stokes her skin, it was just a dream she thinks as she pulls herself out of bed, making her way into the bathroom.

After a quick shower she throws on her black knee length pencil skirt, fishes out her silk black blouse and goes about her morning routine. By 8:50am she's sat at her desk, coffee in hand and checking her emails.

"I am so excited for tonight!" she hears Zelena say from the desk that sits across from hers, "where do you want to go? Should we just head to Aesops Tables? 2 for 1 cocktails?!" Zelena continues as she takes a bite out of her blueberry muffin.

"Yeah Aesops sounds good, but listen it can't be a wild night out, we are too old to cope with the hangovers tomorrow and Bev will kill us if we both come in stinking like a brewery." Regina says as she motions her head towards their boss, Beverly Wood.

Beverly was a good boss; she had been at the company since the very beginning and had always been someone Regina admired. She was roughly the same height as Regina, round at the hips and face that kept her looking younger than her years, her cropped short blonde hair showing a hint of silver in the right light. Considering she looked like the sweetest woman in the world, she had a strong bite in her attitude, could sink the tallest man to his knees with just a look, probably from the many years she's spent dealing with being the only female director in a very male dominated business.

"Oh sure, we will be on our best behaviour don't you worry your pretty little head Hun." Zelena says with a wink as she pops the remaining bit of muffin she has left into her mouth.

Their morning goes by quickly, Regina spends her time putting the proposal together for one of their existing clients, Renshaw inc, they have requested an awareness campaign for the new share scheme project the company is pushing out. They had both been working endlessly at it for the past few weeks, making sure the requirements the client has asked for have been met, which means it's been a lot of long nights, disagreements with Bev over which creative should be used and whether the desk toppers they have created for the employees at Renshaw inc are a little bit over the top. But the hard work is paying off, with the proposal just needing last minute adjustments and Bev's final sign off once Regina has finished putting the presentation together that her and Zelena will run through later this afternoon.

'And I think that's it" Regina says as she saves the power point later then she had planned. Missing lunch again in the process.

"Really? You're sure? 100 percent?" Zelena asks.

"100 per cent" Regina says as she swirls her chair to give Zelena a wide grin.

"Thank fucking Christ for that, I cannot look at another slide, honestly." Zelena says a she pushes herself away from her desk still sitting on her chair as she maneuvers her way over to Regina's.

"Let's take a look then, should we run through it before sending it to Bev?" Zelena asks as she slides in next to Regina on her computer.

"Sure but let's go into one of the client rooms, I don't really want an audience for this." Regina says as she motions around to the rest of their colleagues.

"Yeah makes sense, c'mon I think the third room is free." Zelena says as she moves her chair out of the way for Regina to grab her laptop.

They load up the presentation and run through it quickly, making one last adjustment to the finishing slide before Bev walks in.

"So ladies, I believe the presentation is ready for Renshaw?" Bev says as she approaches them.

"What how did you…" Regina questions as she turns round to see Bev standing between the door frame, hip on hand, fingers strumming impatiently.

"Please, you should know better by now that nothing gets passed me Regina." Beverly says as she takes a seat at the other end of the conference table, with a direct view of the presentation both women have already set up ready to show her.

"Of course Bev, we are right about ready now if you are?" Zelena asks as she restarts the presentation.

"Go ahead, dazzle me." Bev says with a hint of intrigue in her eyes.

Regina hates doing presentations, she can feel her left arm shaking involuntarily already, her breathing has started to increase and she can feel the lick of sweat beginning to form on the back of her neck. She wipes it away quickly as Zelena kicks off the presentation.

 _'Don't fuck this up.'_ the narrator perks up, _'she will fire you if you do, and you know that right?'_ Regina tries to ignore it as best she can, but she can hear the tremble in her voice when it's her turn to tell Bev about their ideas for the campaign.

"we can erm, start off…" she stops taking a deep breath, "by adding posters around the main offices, changing the adverts of the television sets they have in the break rooms with the imagery for the campaign and add the same imagery to their intranet site, so that any employees who don't work at the site will have access to the campaign." Regina finishes taking a much needed breath before looking up to meet Bev's gaze.

"Basically, the plan is to ensure each one of their employees has access to see the new share scheme system Renshaws have put in place, whether they are in the office, on their way to work, or even working from home, if we use all the tools we have mentioned, it will be enough to bring out a high turnout once the system is rolled out throughout the company." Regina closes as the last slide is on screen.

"OK, good. Send it on to the client." Bev says as she gets up from her seat, making her way over to the door.

"Let me know how it goes." Bev says more as a statement than a question as she opens the door, tossing her hand up as a way of goodbye.

"We did it!" Zelena screeches as she throws an arm over Regina's shoulders, hugging her tightly.

 _'Did you? Really? Do you think that was enough? She seemed to be bored to me.'_ The narrator says with a condescending tone that has Regina re-thinking if it really did go as well as Zelena thinks.

"Do you think so? Don't you think she looked a little… I don't know, bored?" Regina questions.

"Are you joking? She loved it! C'mon stop beating yourself up over nothing, we smashed it, now let's go get those drinks I promised you." Zelena says as she closes the laptop picking it up, fixing it so it fits under her arm.

Regina follows Zelena over to their desk's as both of them grab their belongings and make their way out of the main door to the office turning right and heading to the bathroom. Placing her bag on the marble basin surface next to the sink, Regina pulls out her lipstick from her bag and generously reapplies the blush pink to her lips.

"That colour suits you babe, can I try?" Zelena asks as she's already taking it out Regina's hand and puckering up her lips ready to dab the brush.

"I wasn't finished Zelena…"

"Too bad!" Zelena adds a hint of amusement in her tone as she passes the lipstick back and blows Regina an exaggerated kiss.

"Thanks, thief." Regina mocks as she examines herself in the mirror, pushing that awkward piece of her behind her right ear.

 _'Well you look like shit.'_ And so it begins, Regina thinks as she smooth's down the fraying hair on the top of her head. She reaches for her black pencil eyeliner, reapplying, using her finger to smudge it out just below her bottom eye lashes.

 _'Give it up dearie, you aren't going to look like Zelena no matter how much make up you plaster on.'_ It relents. Regina glances over at Zelena, catching her scrunching up her wavy curls, letting them drop below her shoulders as she smiles to herself in the mirror.

"You look lovely." Regina offers as she takes in her own reflection, noticing how her skin looks dry and washed out, plucks at her cheeks to at least bring in a bit of colour.

"Thanks! You too girl, now let's go get our drink on." Zelena says as she pushes the bathroom door open with her hip, grabbing Regina by the hand in the process and pulling her out the door towards the lifts.

They quickly make their way to the bar, avoiding the rain as best they can. The air is warming up but the rain never relentless this early in spring, so they dodge the puddles, quickening their pace as the rain starts beating down harder. Once they enter, Regina spots a booth free to the back of the bar and makes her way over, sliding across the leather seats as Zelena follows her not far behind.

"Sooo, watcha thinking? Long Island Ice Tea's?" Zelena asks as she scans the menu quickly.

"Sure why not, want me to get them?" Regina says as she reaches for her purse in her bag.

"Don't be silly, I said this was my treat!" Zelena answers as she taps Regina's arm lightly, pulling herself out of the booth flashing her a smile before making her way over to the bar to place their order.

 _'Don't go embarrassing yourself on cocktails; I know what you're like when you're drunk. You've never been one who could handle their liquor.'_ The narrator starts, causing Regina to lift her fingers to her temple, running smoothing circles there to try to ease out the tension its causing her. Two drinks won't hurt, she thinks as she looks over to Zelena flirting with the bartender.

Zelena makes her way back over to the booth, bartender in tow carrying another two drinks with him.

"Needed a hand?" Regina asks as she motions towards the dark haired guy that was currently placing her drinks in front of her.

"Enjoy ladies." He says as he flashes a smirk towards Zelena.

"Thank you Roger, such a gentleman." Zelena says as she checks him out when he turns to leave, "ooo I could eat him up!"

"What happened to Bobby?" questions Regina as she follows Zelena's gaze to the bartender now happily flirting away with another customer.

"There's still a Bobby, but there is no harm in looking is there?" Zelena says as she plays with the straw in her drink.

After taking a sip of her cocktail Regina answers, "I suppose not, so how're things going with him anyway? Still planning your wedding?"

"Of course, like I said he's the one, I want you to meet him, give me your honest opinion, I don't want to lose this one Regina, I really do like him."

"Yeah sure I'd like that." Regina says as she takes another long sip of her drink. Letting the delicious taste soothe her throat, feeling herself relax the more she drinks.

They move on from one cocktail to the next, Regina enjoying the gentle buzz she's getting from drinking on an empty stomach. The narrator was right about her not being able to handle her liquor; she's already feeling the effects after only having one drink.

"Should we get something to eat?" Regina asks as she hears her stomach growl.

"Maybe, lets finish these first before we move on though, I've never really liked the food here."

They continue to drink their cocktails, as Zelena pulls out her phone, blushing slightly as she reads the message that Regina assumes must be from Bobby.

"Bobby is it? Regina asks trying to steal Zelena's phone from her hands. Zelena bats her hand away with a chuckle.

"Yes it Bobby, he says he wants to see me, do you mind?" Zelena looks up at her expectantly, waiting for her to answer.

 _'I knew it, always playing second best aren't we dearie?'_ the narrator questions.

"Yeah sure no of course, I will leave you guys to it then." Regina says as she grabs her bag making her way out the booth.

"No stop, silly, I mean do you mind if he meets us? Like I said I want to get your opinion on him and why not now when you've already had two drinks in you? I will know then if you really like him." Zelena laughs as she pulls Regina back into the booth.

"Sorry I thought you meant you wanted to spend time with him alone, but yeah now works fine, tell him to meet us."

"Good because he's here… Bobby!" Zelena shouts as she waves over the guy Regina guesses is Bobby. He's tall, skinny, wearing a washed out black jacket and skinny jeans, a simple grey t-shirt underneath, pairing the look with suede boots. Regina looks up and notices his face then, rugered and handsome, sporting stubble and his short hair flicks to the right side that can only be staying in place with a hell of a lot of wax.

"He's cute" Regina whispers before Bobby is sitting down next to Zelena, pressing his lips to her cheek before holding out his hand to Regina.

"Hey I'm Bobby, you must Regina, Zelena has told me a lot about you."

"She has? All good I hope?"

 _'Nobody has anything good to say about you dearie._ ' The narrator assumes.

"Of course, only the best." Bobby answers with a wide grin plastered on his face.

They continue talking, getting to know one other, Regina decides that Bobby is a great guy; he's funny but isn't trying too hard, bringing out that laugh in Zelena that Regina loves. When Bobby goes the bar to order the next round Zelena turns to Regina, grabbing her hands and pulling her towards her.

"So what you do you think? He's great isn't he? You like him right?" Zelena rambles as she looks desperately in Regina's eyes waiting for her approval.

"He is, he's a keeper and I really like him." Regina says honestly. Thinking how lucky her friend is to meet a great guy, feeling the slight pang of jealousy creeping up her chest.

"I knew it; I knew you would like him!" Zelena says as she squeezes Regina's hand.

"Well what's not to like?" Regina asks as Bobby approaches them, tray in hand with the cocktails they had been drinking along with shots of tequila.

"Here we are ladies." Bobby says as he places the tray on the table, holding out a shot to Regina. She takes it knowing full well she promised herself earlier to take it easy tonight.

 _'You know you want it.'_ It teases her, letting her think she's not in control.

"Thank you, but I shouldn't really, I've already drank enough." Regina says as she pushes away the shot.

"C'mon live a little! What do the kids say nowadays? You only live once..." Zelena says as she licks her thumb, dabbing the salt on it before taking a generous lick, throwing back the shot and quickly squeezing the lime into her mouth.

Bobby follows suit then, grinning at both women when he pulls the lime out of his mouth.

"Go on, to new friends!" He says as he pushes the salt and bowl of limes over to her, throwing a hopeful look before muttering, "Please?"

'Oh fine!" Regina says as she grabs the salt, copying Zelena by pouring a little bit on the side of her thumb before licking it off, downing the shot and quickly reaching for the lime.

"Urgh I hate tequila." she says after taking a long drag of the new cocktail Bobby has placed in front of her.

After that the night goes by in a blur, before Regina realises it, she's drunk. A little too drunk for a quiet night out on a Tuesday. She knows it's a bad idea to keep on drinking but when she does she feels free, the narrator no longer able to speak as her brain shuts down slightly, loosening her inhabitations and soaking in the alcohol.

"I am having such a good time!" she shouts to Zelena as they dance over the music that's pumping from the sound system.

"Me too!" Zelena answers as she sways her way over to Bobby, planted a hard kiss to his lips.

"I am just going for a smoke, give you two some alone time!" Regina shouts before leaving the love birds to it, heading towards the exit, stumbling slightly as the cool air hits her as she makes her way to the smoking area. The rain had finally stopped, the night quiet now that the door had closed behind her; the night air filled with a hint of wetness from the rain soaked garden furniture.

She stands up against the wall, pulling out her packet of Marlboro lights and searching for her lighter, twisting it once, twice, before realising there was no fluid left to light her cigarette.

"Need a light?" she hears from her right, looking up she notices the guy approach her, he's cute, she thinks, or is that her beer goggles playing tricks on her?

"Yeah if you don't mind, mines ran out." she says as she takes the lighter he is offering her out of his hands and lights the cigarette, taking a long drag before passing it back, placing her hair behind her ear and muttering a thank you.

"You're welcome, I'm Sidney and you are…"

"Regina, so do you just hang about in smoking areas waiting to save the damsel's in distress?"

"Ah you've caught me." he says with a wink as he stands next to her, placing his back against the wall, taking a drag of his own and letting it out in smoke rings.

"I've never been the one to miss a trick." Regina says as she winks back, She likes it when she's like this, loose, flirtatious, uncaring of what others think of her. She enjoys the way he glances down her chest and mentally pats herself on the back for loosening one of her buttons earlier.

"When you've finished that, do you fancy getting a drink?" Sidney asks as he stumps out the cigarette in the nearby ash tray.

"Sure why not." she says as she copies his movements and follows him into the bar.

The next thing Regina remembers is being pushed up against the wall, a hand fisted in her hair as someone's tongue rakes the side of her neck. A leg forced in between hers. What the fuck is happening? She thinks as she pushes the guy away from her by the chest.

"What's wrong love? Want to go somewhere a bit more private?" he says as he moves closer to her, hands still in her hair.

"No, no its not that…" she drawls out unable to fully comprehend what was happening.

"C'mon love, we are only having a bit of fun." he says as he moves towards her neck again.

"I… I have to go sorry." she says as she pushes him away, scanning the room quickly to see if she can find Zelena. After a few minutes she gives up, stumbles towards the exit and orders herself a taxi, scanning the 5 messages she's received from Zelena.

 **Where are you?**

 **Have you come back into the bar?**

 **We can't find you, we've looked every where**

 **Let me know you're alright?**

 **We've headed home, I am guessing you've done the same? Txt me back please x**

Who was that guy? She thinks while she waits for her Uber to arrive. She tries her hardest to put the pieces back together from the night, first there was the drinks with Zelena, then the shots and more drinks with Bobby, then what? It was her round next, did they get more shots? She remembers the dancing, then going outside for a smoke, and there was that guy, what was his name? Sidney? Yes, she remembers Sidney, was that the same guy that was all over her? How can she not remember? Who blacks out when they are awake?!

She sees her taxi approach then, pulls open the door and sinks into the seat. Holds back the tears that are forming behind her eyes. Sends a quick txt to Zelena to let her know her battery had died and she couldn't find her in the bar, she's back at home and will see her tomorrow. She hopes the excuse is believable.

Once the taxi approaches her home she makes her way inside, keeping her eyes stuck to the floor, too ashamed to look up in case anyone sees her. Her hands trembling as she feels her knees weaken once the door shut behind her. She counts the seconds it takes for her to reach the stairs, stumbling up the stairs, making her way to her bedroom. As soon as she shuts the bedroom door behind her she crumbles to the floor, letting out a strangled cry.

How has the night ended up like this? She thinks as she pulls herself up from the floor and walks over to her bed. She tears off the blouse she is wearing, pulls down her skirt and falls into her bed. Sobbing herself to sleep.

The next day her head is throbbing. Her mouth is as dry as the desert and her stomach has her running to the bathroom to relieve the remaining alcohol still lingering in her system. She pulls herself from the floor and takes a hard look in the mirror. God she looks awful, she thinks as she runs a hand through her hair, turning on the tap and washing her face.

 _'Fuck, what did you do?'_ the narrator questions. _'Did you fuck that guy in the club?'_

Did she? No, of course she didn't, she would remember wouldn't she?

 _'But you blacked out dearie, like you always do. Slut.'_

Her chest tightens as she yet again tries to remember the night; the embarrassment she was feeling was causing her to lose control of her breathing. Slowly she steadies herself down to sit on the edge of the bath, grabbing the sink in the process for leverage.

 _'I can't believe you. You make me sick.'_ The narrator's words hit her hard. Has fat tear drops rolling down her face, landing on her legs as she continues to struggle to breathe. She needs to calm down, needs to get to work, it's too late to call in and work from home now, Bev would know it was because she was hungover and she's left her work laptop in the office. She forces herself to stand, to get into the shower and wash away the internal nightmare she was having.

Once she makes it into work she sees someone has left her paracetamol, a bottle of water and a slice of apple pie on her desk along with a note that reads:

 **If you're feeling anything like I am, you're gonna need this x**

She scans the office quickly in search of Zelena, finally finding her in the kitchen. How she can possibly look so good if she feels anything like I do Regina thinks as she makes her way over to the kitchen.

"Oh babe, I feel like shit." Zelena says as soon as she sees Regina, pulling her into a hug, resting her head on her shoulder. "I can't believe we lost you, you went out for a smoke and then we didn't see you again, what happened?"

Good, Regina thinks, she didn't know, didn't see her making out like a horny teenager in the corner of the bar.

"Like I said my battery died, I couldn't find you guys so I just headed home, I am so sorry." Regina offers as she pulls out of the embrace.

"You have nothing to apologise for, I had a great night! Did you?" Zelena asks as she makes her way over to the water fountain, filling her bottle up and taking a big gulp.

"Yeah it was fun, thanks for the invite and thanks for the treats too." Regina says as she walks out of the kitchen, Zelena following her behind, making their way back over to their desks.

'Do you really think you've gotten away with it?' the narrator perks up. 'Or do you think she's just saving you the embarrassment?'

For the rest of the day, Regina attempts to do her work, but can't fight the anxiety that's creeping up inside her, having to take regular breaks to the bathroom to cry into her hands, trying to gain her composure every time she remembers the night before. She knows nothing happened, really knows that she wouldn't have done anything other than kiss a stranger but she can't help but go over what could have happened while she was blacked out. Was that the narrator taking control? Doing what it pleased when she was incapable of doing anything herself?

Later that afternoon she lets Bev know that she will be working from home for the rest of the week. Says she has to look after her neighbors' cat and so will be taking her laptop and work phone with her if she needed to get in touch.

"Yes well it's probably best if you do work from home." Bev says as she gives her the once over. "It isn't good coming into work with a hangover let alone looking as shit as you do today sweetie."

Regina can only offer her a small smile, one that she hopes portrays the apology she can't seem to muster, she grabs the rest of her things and mutters a goodbye to Zelena, making her way home, not even hiding away from the rain that is once again covering the town.

The next 48 hours for Regina are spent in her bed, motionless from the world outside. Filled only with the biting insults the narrator is offering her.

By Friday morning, she can't take it anymore, "Stop it' she screams, her throat closing up as she struggles to breathe.' I can't do this anymore with you!" Her sobs getting louder making it nearly impossible to breathe.

 _'It seems to me dearie, you don't have a choice.'_ it offers, causing Regina to rush to the bathroom, arm circling her waist, pushing up the toilet seat as the content in her stomach is yet again emptied out into the bowl. With staggered breaths she washes her mouth out with the mouthwash left in her bathroom cabinet, crawls herself to her room and spends another day crying to herself until sleep over powers and takes her under.

 **A/N: Robin will be back in the next chapter :)**


	3. Chapter 3

"Regina! Regina, wake up!" is the first thing she hears on Saturday morning.

"Regina! Answer this door! I know you're in there!"

"Come on Regina, NOW!"

With the duvet still wrapped around her, Regina makes her way to the front door, dragging her feet in the process.

"Stop banging, I'm coming, I'm coming…" she mumbles as she unbolts the door, prying it open slowly to see who has woken her up so early on a Saturday.

"Why have you been ignoring my calls?" Zelena says as she saunters into Regina's home, having a quick scan of the hallway, before turning back and taking in the sight of her best friend.

"Jesus Christ... what happened to you?!" Zelena asks taking a few steps forward and reaching out her arm to hold onto Regina.

"Nothing, I'm fine, honestly, it's just been a rough couple of days that's all. Think it may be the flu?" Regina says as she fidgets with the duvet still wrapped tightly around her body shuffling on her feet, not really knowing how to react.

"Well your temperature is fine." Zelena says as she presses the back of her hand against her forehead.

"Zelena stop, I am fine, just needed some rest." she says as she swats away her best friends hand, leading them into the kitchen to flick the kettle on.

"How'd you know I was in anyway?" Regina questions as she pops two tea bags into the mugs next to the kettle, one sugar for her, none for Zelena.

"Well where else would you be sweetie?"

Regina scoffs at that, reaching past Zelena, grabbing the milk out of the fridge.

"Plus, I have the track my iPhone app and I know your password so if your phone is with you then I know where you are." Zelena says with a smirk as Regina hands her the cup of tea.

"Of course you do, because that's how a good co-worker relationship should work. By stalking…"

"Haha, you know you love it babe." Zelena says as she wraps her arms around Regina, enveloping her into a tight embrace. Regina rolls her eyes and wriggles out of the embrace, grabbing her cup of tea in the process and moving into the living room, plopping herself down on the sofa snuggling further into the blanket that she still as wrapped around her small frame.

"Did you need something Zelena?" Regina asks as she fiddles with the ends of her hair, taking in Zelena's appearance. How does she always look so good? Regina thinks as she notes the way Zelena's dress hugs her figure, the deep green colour complimenting her skin tone perfectly.

"Yes in fact, you to get a shower and get dressed, you're taking me shopping." Zelena chirps as she ruffles the top of Regina's head.

"I can't, I am busy today." Regina says as she swats Zelena's hand away yet again.

' _Wow, what a brilliant excuse.'_ the narrator perks up. Great not you too, Regina rolls her eyes and takes a long sip of her cup of tea.

"Well I could just follow you around but you've made it pretty clear you're not interested in me 'stalking' you so I suggest you jump in the shower and get ready, I really don't have time for your games today." Zelena says as she leaves Regina in the living room, making her way into Regina's bedroom to pick through her closet.

' _See dearie, even Zelena has had enough of you, I told you, you're just an annoyance to everyone.'_ The narrator mocks as Regina follows Zelena into her bedroom, finally letting go of her blanket and leaving it on her bed.

'Well darling, I am not into your game of going through my wardrobe and making a mess, yet here we are.' Regina says as she catches Zelena eyeing up the dresses that are hung up in her closest, taking them out and putting them back in the wrong order.

'Zelena that's quite enough, you're making a mess!' Regina says as Zelena pulls out one dress after the other, holding them up against her then placing them back into the closet; 'Its colour coordinated!' She's going to kill her, she can feel her blood begin to boil as Zelena continues to ignore her; "Zelena seriously stop it, why would you put a black dress next to a pink one!" Regina starts to pace back and forth, shoving the hair that's landing across her face back behind her ear as she watches Zelena continue to make a mess. "Oh for god sake Zelena just go away!" she practically screeches as she takes strides across her bedroom to push Zelena out the way so she can fix the mess she's made.

"Well I see someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!" Zelena chuckles as she moves to sit on Regina's bed before saying; "Now come on Hun, get in the shower and get dressed we have some spending to do."

Regina quickly grabs a pair of jeans and a grey oversized jumper out of her closet as she makes her way into the bathroom. She turns on her shower and waits for the water to heat up, pulling her pajamas off of her body and dumping them into the laundry basket. When the mirror fogs up from the steam of the shower she pulls back the curtain and steps in, letting the hot water dance across her skin as she leans her head back to soak her hair.

How Zelena has managed to convince her to go shopping is something Regina will never understand, she was looking forward to another day at home cuddled up in bed as she binge watched anything that was on Netflix. She could have started a new programme, or even read a book, but no, Regina thinks as she lathers in the vanilla scented shampoo, now she has to spend the day with Zelena while she tries on outfit after outfit that will look amazing on her no doubt.

' _Of course you wanted to spend the day in bed dearie. You are nothing but a lazy bitch; it's about time someone came to save you from that stink hole of a bedroom you sleep in.'_

Oh be quiet will you, Regina thinks as she pulls back the shower curtain, haven't you punished me enough this week? Can't I just have a peaceful day with my friend?

' _Friend? Seriously? Dearie you know you don't have any friends. Just like you said before, she's your co-worker nothing more. She's only here as a last resort.'_

Regina was struggling to focus, to understand the difference between what the narrator was telling her was true and what she **knew** to be true. There were times when Regina could block the voice out, knew when it was just another lie from her narrator but when it came to friendships she had always struggled to differentiate fiction from non-fiction. Was Zelena really her friend? Did she really want to spend all this time with her?

Regina was never the type of person to have friends, all throughout her childhood she had kept her distance from her classmates, never getting close enough to anyone to be invited to sleepovers or birthday parties. So she built herself a wall, something to block out others from getting close to her. As a child she never thought she was worthy of anyone's love, not even from her parents no matter how much they insisted, she always knew it was a lie, that they only stayed together because of her not because they loved one another. She knew there was a difference, it was more than obvious when she turned 16 and her parents signed the divorce papers saying now that she was of age she would understand why it is they couldn't be together. That there was no love left between them. Which she always felt meant there was no love left for her either.

Pushing her thoughts to one side, Regina got dressed, dried her hair quickly, leaving the curls to fall to her shoulders and found Zelena sprawled on her bed, flicking through her phone. "I see your finally ready Hun." Zelena says as she props herself up against the pillows resting against the bed frame.

"Yes well, I thought I couldn't leave you waiting for too long… Are we going then?" Regina says as she grabs her bag from the floor, checking that her purse was still there, she knows what Zelena's like when it comes to shopping, today is going to be a heavy day on her bank balance.

"Yeah Hun let's go!" Zelena says as she jumps off the bed, grabbing Regina's hand in the process and pulling her out of the house, "Zelena slow down, the shops will still be open when we get there its only 1pm!" Regina giggles as she comes to a stop outside of her car. "I know but I just love shopping with you, you're so good at it!" Zelena says as she opens the car door and gets into the passenger seat.

Regina stares at Zelena, quirking up her eyebrow slightly as she takes in what Zelena had just told her. Did she really think she was good at shopping?

"You think I'm good at shopping?" Regina asks as they make their way down the high street.

"Well duh, why'd you think I go straight to your closet when I come round?" Zelena asks her, a puzzled expression planted across her face.

"I never really thought about it to be honest…"

"Regina, your outfits are literally flawless and I need your fashion wisdom today to help me find the best outfit ever. So get your game face on Hun." Regina just laughs at Zelena; she must just be being polite, Regina thinks as she pulls up into a parking spot. The narrator is right, the only reason Zelena asked her to go with her today is clearly because no one else was free to join her.

They spend the afternoon arm in arm, going from each store and trying on multiple outfits while enjoying each other's company. Regina can't remember a time she's laughed so much. Zelena really does bring out the best in her, has her grinning from ear to ear as they stop for coffee and Zelena literally gawks at a man who passes by, her jaw virtually hitting the pavement below.

"Zelena! You perv, stop it, he will notice!" Regina gushes as she taps Zelenas arm lightly across the table.

"He loves it, and so do I, look at that bum!" Zelena smirks, her eyes never leaving the hottie walking by their table.

"Zelena seriously, I'm not sure Bobby would want you lusting after other men." Regina drawls, blowing on her coffee and taking a sip.

"Oh please, that man doesn't care what I do as long as I come home to him, and anyway I was telling YOU to look at that guy's ass." Zelena says as she motions her head towards the guy as he walks to the counter, presumably to order his own coffee.

"Zelena you know I'm not looking for a relationship." Regina mutters.

"I never said you needed to marry the guy Regina… you need to loosen up." Zelena says as she gets up to move behind Regina; "Relaaaaax" she drawls out, as she places her hands on Reginas shoulders to massage them lightly.

"Oooooo..." Regina moans taking a deep breath in, practically purring as she breathes back out.

"Now that is the type of noise a man needs to hear not me!" Zelena chuckles as she continues to massage Regina's shoulders.

"ZELENA!" Regina hisses and darts a look at the man to ensure he didn't just hear what her friend had said.

"What?!" Zelena chuckles, as she reaches one arm to grab her coffee on the table, the other tickling the top of Regina's head.

"Come on... finish up your coffee, and get off me, there is one more store I want to try and I think it's going to have what you need." Regina says with a nod of her head as she maneuvers herself away from Zelena's touch.

"Oh there she is, the fashionista I love so much!" Zelena says as she downs the rest of her coffee and picks up her handbag.

"Zelena please calm down, come on it's this way." Regina mutters as she motions them towards to the store that was across the street from the coffee shop they were currently in.

The store is paved with black and white marble flooring, glistening under the chandeliers that are hung from the high ceilings, when the bell rings the shop assistant comes over straight away, "Regina darling, good to see you back," the shop assistant says as he saunters over to Regina placing a kiss to each cheek.

"Jamie, it's good to see you, I was wondering if you could help my friend here, she's looking for an outfit that has the wow factor." Regina says as she motions towards Zelena.

"oooo yes of course I can help, come with me sweetie" says Jamie as he makes his way over to the counter.

"Actually Regina will be needing something too, so if you could help us both out that'd be great" Zelena says with a wide grin as she makes her way over to Jamie who is pouring out a bottle of prosecco into glasses for the two women.

"And why would I need something Zelena?" Regina questions as she accepts the flute of bubbly.

"Well you know how I told you last month that work was throwing a summer ball and you said you weren't going?" Zelena says with a smirk.

"Yes…"

"Well as usual I paid no attention and got us both tickets anyway." Zelena giggles out as she watches Reginas face literally fall, Zelena knew Regina wouldn't go to the ball without a push, and there was no way she was going without her.

"Oh Zelena! Why would you do that…"

"Because I cannot attend this event without you!" Zelena says as she throws Regina her sweetest smile.

"Well I am not in the party mood Zelena; you really shouldn't have bought me a ticket" Regina says with a shake of her head. Regina had specifically told Zelena she had no interest in going to the ball, so she had no idea why Zelena had bought her a ticket. Regina wasn't in the mood to rub shoulders with clients or colleagues, after the nightmare few days she had had with the narrator, all she wanted was a night in, some time to unwind without the pressure of the narrator pushing her down the rabbit hole.

 _'You are so going to embarrass yourself if you go this ball, you know that right?'_

"Robin will be there" Zelena says with a shrug, knowing full well the only way to ensure Regina goes to this ball is to dangle the prospect of seeing Robin again in front of her. Although Regina hadn't out right told her friend that was interested in the man, Zelena knew her well enough to know Regina had more than a crush on the new client.

"Who is Robin?" Regina interrupts a little too quickly, that has her blushing knowing that Zelena has figured out Regina knows exactly who she is on about.

"Don't play coy with me missy, you know who Robin is. Robin Locksley of course! The hottie who you practically drooled all over when you had to show him around the office." Zelena laughed as she continued to browse the store looking for an outfit.

"I did not!" Regina huffs, how did Zelena know about her feelings for Robin? Had she made it that obvious she was into him?

 _'A blind person would know you were into him dearie, you weren't exactly subtle.'_

"Ha you forget how well I know you, I know when you're into someone Regina and you were certainly throwing him your come fuck me eyes." Zelena says as she spots Jamie walking over.

"Omg kill me, kill me now." Regina says with an eye roll and saunters over to the sofa opposite the changing rooms in the store before taking a large sip of her glass of prosecco.

Jamie interrupts them to show Zelena a few outfits he had chosen for her, which she kindly takes and enters into one of the changing rooms.

"Listen sweetie you know as well as I do that that man is bloody gorgeous and you want to sink your teeth into him so why not!" Zelena shouts from inside the changing room.

"I do not want to sink my teeth into him, stop being so crude we are in public." Regina reminds Zelena. "Oh who cares?!" Zelena says as she opens the curtain to the changing room, walking over to the wall length mirror.

"That looks beautiful on you Ze. Truly." Regina says as she admires her best friend.

"I know just look at me I am fabulous!" Zelena says as she eyes herself in the mirror, the outfit she has chosen is a white fitted pant suit. The pants are cropped at the ankle showing off the black courts she is wearing, the blazer fastens just below her breasts, revealing her cleavage in a deep V. Her curled red hair is flowing down below her shoulders and shines in the light as she moves from foot to foot to get a better look in the mirror.

 _'You will never look as good as she does, why did you bring her here, this is the one place you looked good in and now look at the mess you've caused. You can never come back.'_

"I see you are getting in the partying mood?" Zelena asks as she turns to see Regina downing the rest of her prosecco.

"Well if I have to go to this event with you looking that good I am going to need some dutch courage." Regina shrugs as she runs her fingers over the tip of the glass.

"Stop putting yourself down Regina, I honestly don't understand why you don't see yourself the way I do, you're beautiful! Now Jamie, did you manage to find our little queen here an outfit?" Zelena says as she turns to find Jamie grinning like a Cheshire cat next to her.

"Actually, we have just received some new stock in and I held a dress back hoping you would pop in soon Regina, let me just fetch it for you." Jamie says as he leaves the ladies to the prosecco and heads into the stock room.

He comes back holding out a dress that Regina instantly knows is going to have her mortgaging her home.

"It's Alexander Wang… may be a little pricey but as soon as I saw it I thought of you, try it on please?" Jamie practically begs.

"Omg you have to try this on Regina it's beautiful!" Zelena says as she rushes over to Jamie to get a better look at the dress.

"Urgh, fine." Regina says as she takes the dress from Jamie and enters one of the empty changing rooms. Zelena following close behind her and taking the room next to her to change back into the green dress she had on earlier.

Regina pulls off her oversized jumper and denim jeans and stands in front of the mirror in her underwear. She runs a hand over her stomach, feeling the muscle tense slightly and takes a deep breath in.

 _'This dress will not look good on you dearie, it won't even fit, you're too big.'_

"I… I don't think it's going to fit." Regina calls out from the dressing room as she wipes a hand through her hair while continuing to look herself up and down in the mirror.

"Of course it's going to fit darling, it's your size! Now stop being daft and put it on so we can see!" Jamie shouts through the curtains of the changing room.

With a deep breath Regina slips the garment over her head, pulling the dress down over the curve of her breasts, the material pushing against her waist and hips and the zip of the dress landing at the bottom of her right thigh.

 _'Turn round then dearie, let's have a laugh.'_

If you look bad just take it off again it's no big deal she thinks to herself as she spins round to look into the mirror. She opens her eyes and stares intently at her reflection.

Does this look… is that... how does this… she thinks to herself as she sways from left to right, trying to get a better look in the mirror.

The dark navy dress clings to her figure perfectly. The zip travelling up her right thigh shows enough skin but not too much that it could be deemed inappropriate for a work event. The zip continues to travel up past her hip along her back and round to her left hip bone stopping just before it reaches her belly button. Her fingers automatically reach down and stroke across her thigh where the zip begins. She stares intently at herself, does this look OK? She thinks as she turns around to check out the back, no lumps or bumps she notices as she spins again to look head-on at her reflection.

"Regina get out here I know you have it on." Zelena shouts.

Regina opens the curtains slowly and steps out. She notices Jamie gasp as Zelena stares at her with an opened mouth.

"What? Does it look bad? I knew it would, I'm just going to change…." Regina states as she begins to turn back into the changing room.

"What no, you look… omg you... YOU LOOK AMAZING" Zelena practically screams, she grabs Regina by the arms and pulls her towards the floor length mirror. "Hun you look so good. I mean I want to fuck you in that outfit…" Zelena says with a nod of approval.

"Zelena!" Regina yells as she turns back to see her friend snickering at her.

"What? It's true; I would kill for your figure." Zelena says with a shrug.

 _'She's lying.'_

"Don't lie to make me feel better Zelena, I've said I will come to the party, there's no need to butter me up." Regina says as she continues to look at herself in the mirror. Does this really look OK? The dress is certainly making her feel admirable, wanted, sexy almost. The slit in the dress really is highlighting the curve of her legs, the one thing Regina has always liked about her figure has been her legs so she has no problems in getting them out every once in a while, it's the rest of her body she has never been able to muster the confidence to admire.

"I am not buttering you up, you look stunning." Zelena admires her friends' reflection, how can Regina not see what she does?. Regina's figure is the talk of the office more often than not, either women want to be her or the men want to fuck her yet Zelena knows Regina just doesn't see herself that way.

"Please tell me you are going to buy it." Zelena begs.

"I honestly don't know, it's expensive and…" Regina begins to say but is interrupted by Jamie; "I'm going to stop you right there sweetie, this dress was made for you. I will knock off 30% as long as you promise me you will go to that party wearing this dress ok?"

"Jamie, are you sure?" Regina asks, not quite understanding why everyone is being so nice to her.

"Of course I'm sure. You deserve to treat yourself sweetie!" Jamie says as he makes his way over to the register.

"She is buying it!" Zelena says as she pushes Regina back into the changing room before continuing; "get dressed Hun, we need to get a move on I've booked us into the salon across the road so we can get our nails and hair done before the party and we really don't have a lot of time before our appointment…"

"What would you have done if I'd have told you I wasn't coming?" Regina asks as she heads into the changing room to change out of the dress.

"I knew you wouldn't say no to me Hun!" Zelena says with a wink as Regina emerges from the changing room, dress in hand as she makes her way over to the counter.

"Thank you for coming in today ladies, I hope you have a wonderful time tonight, you both will look gorgeous!" Jamie says as he hands the women their shopping bags.

"Indeed we will darling, bye!" Zelena says with a wink as she throws her arm around Regina's shoulders, both women make their way out of the store, giggling over their new purchases.

Regina has never been a fan of being pampered. She much prefers to get ready by herself, without the feeling of being judged by others around her but having Zelena with her, keeping her mind busy with the talk of Bobby planning a vacation for them both has settled her nerves. She watches as the beautician applies a deep shade of red to her fingernails, enjoys the light scratches of the nails currently massaging her head from her hairdresser and even treats herself to another glass of prosecco as she soaks in the feeling of being pampered.

 _'Who exactly do you think you are? The queen of fucking Shebia?'_

Maybe today I am, Regina thinks as she closes her eyes to enjoy the feeling of freedom that is currently pouring out of her. In moments like this where she can silence the little narrators constant nagging she uses it to her full advantage, she knows it won't last long so whatever happiness she is feeling now, she runs with it.

She indulges in the confidence she is currently feeling knowing she is going to slip into a dress that may catch the attention of Robin. She hasn't stopped thinking about him ever since Zelena had mentioned he would also be attending the ball. Will he remember her? Will he say hello? Will there be flirting? So many question were buzzing around Regina's head and all the excitement had her sitting on the edge of her seat, desperate to just get to the ball.

"It seems your mood has changed since this morning Hun." Zelena says with a smirk as she notices her friend is practically glowing from across the room.

"Well I might as well get excited now that you've forced me into coming, and ordering me to buy a dress that will no doubt make me unable to buy food for a month, huh?" Regina says as she watches the beautician apply the last coat of varnish to her nails.

Once the two women were finished getting glammed up for the ball they made their way back to Regina's home. Making their way into the kitchen, Zelena grabs a bottle of red wine while Regina busies herself by preparing them a chicken salad.

"If we are going to drink that, we are eating." Regina says knowing full well the narrator would love nothing more than her drinking on an empty stomach. But Regina doesn't want a repeat of her last encounter with alcohol to happen again. She wants to remember tonight, wants to keep the control she currently has, and nothing, not even the narrator will hold her back from finally having a good night out.

"So Robin..." Zelena says as she takes a bite out of the salad Regina places in front of her.

"What about him?" Regina asks, trying to hide the sudden excitement she feels.

"You like him, I think you will make a cute couple." Zelena says with a shrug.

"We know nothing about him Zelena, he could have a girlfriend for all we know." Regina says as she takes a gulp of her wine.

"So you do like him! Well I guess we will find out tonight if he has a girlfriend, I did notice he didn't have a plus one so..."

"And how do you know that?" Regina asks knowing Zelena always finds out the gossip of the office.

"You know me, I have my wicked ways." Zelena says with a smirk as she grabs the dishes they have now finished with and places them into the dishwasher. "Now come on let's go get ourselves gorgeous for tonight my queen."

Both women head up to Regina's room to get ready, Regina takes her time with her makeup, applying a dark shade of gold to her eyes before adding black to make it smokey, her brown eyes popping with the colour. She chooses a deep red lipstick to match her nails, applying a generous amount that compliments the rest of her look perfectly. When she puts the dress she bought earlier back on she takes her time admiring the way she looks in the mirror. The dress fits her perfectly, the curves of her hips and the slit of the material open on her thigh makes her feel sexy, the black heels she pairs with the outfit finishes the look and even Regina can admit she has never looked better.

"well don't we look good." Zelena says as she finishes the final touches of her look, adding pink lipstick for a pop of colour to go with her white suit.

"hmm we do don't we." Regina agress as she grabs her bag from her bed.

"Come on, our chariot awaits!" Zelena squeals as she hear their taxi pull up out front.

They reach the ball by 8pm, it is being held in the town hall, and Regina thinks it has never looked better. The whole décor is black and white. Large chandeliers have been hung up on the ceiling shining beautifully on the round tables below that have been decorated with black tablecloths and white chairs with plush black cushions on each one. Regina notices that each table is filled with expensive wine, hard liquor and a selection of beers. So it's going to be one of those nights, she thinks as she notices a few of her colleagues already on their way to being drunk.

"Our table is over there" Zelena points towards a table that is by the stage, Regina gives it a quick scan and notices there are only a few empty seats left on it. "how do you know that is our table? Regina asks as they start to head towards it, saying hello to a number of colleagues that pass them on their way.

"Please, I took the seating arrangement from HR and made a few... adjustments." Zelena says as they reach their seats. Each seat has a name plate next to their pre-poured drinks, Regina quickly finds hers and says hello to the others on her table, three of the seats are taken by the men in their finance department, the others by clients of theirs who all seem wrapped up in their conversation but immediately look up when they notice the two women take a seat.

"Hello ladies" David says as they take a seat, "glad you could join us tonight." He continues with a smile, Regina has always gotten along well with David, he was a nice enough guy, harmless to say the least and she did hold a special place in her heart for his wife Mary Margaret.

"Hi David, How is Mary? Will she not be joining you this evening?" Regina questions when she realises they are the only two women sat at this table.

"No unfortunately not, she wasn't up for a night being surrounded by people drinking now that she's pregnant again" he chuckles. "but she does send her love and asked to arrange lunch with you soon."

"Oooh congratulations! I am so happy for you both! And yes lunch sounds perfect David, just let me know when." Regina answers as David gives his thanks and turns his attention back to the other men on the table.

"Zelena, why are we the only women at the this table?" Regina questions knowing she will no doubt be up to something.

"Well hun, its to eliminate the competition of course"

"Competition? What competition?"

"Darling, have you not noticed who will be sitting next to you?"

"What no... who?" Regina asks puzzled as she turns her head to look at the name card placed on the seat next to her; "You didn't."

"Of course I did, your welcome!" Zelena says as she turns her attention to August.

Regina doesn't know what to think, what if he thinks she set this up on purpose? What if he doesn't even remember her? She takes a sip of the red wine that is in front of her and tries to calm her nerves. She will be fine, she thinks as she takes another sip, just be cool, casual, it's no big deal, he's just a guy, she thinks, a hot guy, the hottest guy, a lovely guy, oh god, this is going to be a nightmare.

Regina is too busy trying to calm herself down that she doesn't notice the man who has just walked into the ball, noticing her immediately and making his way towards her.

"Milady." Robin says as he takes his seat next to her. His breath catching slightly as he stares into her eyes, drinking in her scent, vanilla, he notices, and a hint of apple.

"Robin, Hi." Regina squeaks as she fumbles with her glass, spilling it slightly on to the table.

"Were you not expecting to see me again Regina?" He says with a chuckle as he grabs hold of her drink and steadies it on the table taking her hand in his as he places a light kiss to the back of it.

Regina just smiles at him. He is gorgeous, she thinks, his hands feel so soft yet strong in hers. Her mind wondering to where else is hands would feel good on her.

"I just didn't think you were coming tonight that's all." She says as she takes her hand back and places it on her lap.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world." He says as he looks her up and down, enjoying the way she slightly pushes her chest out and crosses her legs towards him. Regina notices him staring at her, she likes the way it's making her feel, bolder, sexier, wanted. "Mr Locksley, you're staring." Regina says as she pushes her hair back behind her ear.

"Well you can't blame me, you look... beautiful." Robin can't believe how breathtaking she is, he hasn't been able to get her out of his mind since they first met. She was gorgeous, and that dress she was wearing was doing things to his mind, he couldn't help but picture what it would be to like to reach over and pull the zipper resting on her thigh up to reveal what she was wearing underneath.

"Thank you." Regina says blushing, he really is admiring her, she notices, maybe the narrator was wrong, maybe he did like her...

 _'You've always had an active imagination dearie.'_

No you will not take this from me, not today, she thinks as she pushes the narrator to the back of her mind.

"So Robin, tell me, how are you finding it working with us? I hope everything has been satisfactory so far?" Regina asks as the waiter comes over to top up their glasses.

"It's been going great so far, we really have a lot to plan for but I think its going to work out well, it turns out we make a great team." He says with a smile as he notices her cheeks begin to blush.

They continue flirting back and forth. Talking about all the things the companies can do together to benefit from the new partnership. The party continuing around them not that they have been able to pay attention to anybody else. They only seem to have eyes for each other. Each time they take a sip of their drink they reach closer and closer together until their chairs are practically touching.

He hasn't stopped making her laugh, really laugh, too, she can feel it in her stomach and each time she flips her head back and lets out the most beautiful laugh robin has ever heard. There is a connection between the two of them that seems to be unstoppable, neither of them can get enough of each other. Regina has never felt like this before about a man, the conversation just flows so naturally, all her worries from earlier have left and she is simply enjoying his company.

"So tell me a bit more about yourself Mr Locksley. How did you end up here? Its clear from your accent that you're from England." Regina asks as she allows her eyes to take in his appearance. He is wearing a navy suit, the colour making the light blue in his eyes sparkle and funnily enough matching her outfit perfectly. His hair is cut to the sides, a little longer on top, a lighter shade of brown than hers and she wonders what it would feel like to run her fingers through it, to scratch the back of his neck lightly and move her hand to caress against his jaw, she wonders if the stubble he has would feel rough against her hand. What it would feel like to brush her lips against it.

"There isn't much to tell really, I moved to America for university when I was 18, and I've never looked back since, it was the best decision I have ever made."

"Don't you miss home?"

"Sometimes but, being here, it makes me happy, I fell in love with the place, especially this little town, there is so much more to do and see here, plus its only a plane ride away to go home if I wanted too."

"What about your family? Don't they miss you?"

"My parents died when I was starting secondary school, it was... it was a difficult time and I did things I'm not exactly proud of but I have learnt that things happen for a reason." Robin says, as Regina notices the glint in his fade, she understands the pain he must be feeling, having to live through something he had no control of.

"I'm so sorry." Regina offers as she rests her hand over his, brushing her thumb over the top of his hand as a way to soothe the pain she knows he is feeling.

"Thank you, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss them... but what about you? What of your family?" Robin asks trying to gain control over his emotions.

"My mother and father divorced when I was a 16, my mother left, she moved abroad somewhere and I haven't seen her since, she calls and texts a few times a month but... my father on the other hand was a wonderful man, so caring and kind." Regina says with a slight smile on her face, her mind suddenly filled with all the happy memories her father had left her with.

"Was?" Robin asks as he takes her hand in his.

"He died, 4 years ago, heart attack."

"Oh Regina, I am so sorry that's awful." Robin says as he now takes the opportunity to offer her some comfort, opening her hand out to link their fingers together.

They continue to talk, hands still intertwined as they share childhood stories of how Robin had his 'band of merry men' and Regina shone away from having friends to spend her time with her horses in the farm close her family home.

"Do you want to go get some fresh air?" Robin asks, realising the red wine is starting to make him feel more and more tipsy.

"Sure, I'd like that" Regina says as he lets go of her hand, she instantly misses the connection, hopes to god she gets to feel close again to him soon. As they make their way out of the ball Robin places a hand to the small of her back as he leads them over to the patio outside, looking out onto Storybrooke.

"You really do look beautiful tonight." Robin says to her as she looks up to him, the moonlight reflecting perfectly from her eyes.

"Thank you, you don't look so bad yourself." His hand is still on the small of her back as she leans over the fencing of the balcony, taking her time to just enjoy the time she is spending with Robin. He reaches up and pushes the hair that has fallen across her face behind her ear "Are you cold Regina?" She loves that, loves the way he says her name, and already cares enough for her to notice the goosebumps raising on her arms, if only he knew that he was the reason she was getting goosebumps, not because of the drop in temperature.

He takes off his jacket and places it around her shoulders not wanting to let go, he fixes the front of it as she grabs onto the collars. Robin moves his hands from her shoulders and toys with the ends of her hair, they stay like that for a moment, staring into each others eyes as they move closer and closer together so their bodies lightly touch, Regina looks up at him, moves from his eyes to his lips, wondering if they are going to kiss.

"I have really enjoyed spending time with you tonight Regina." Robin says as he stares intently at her lips, wondering what it would feel like to have them brush up against him, he can already feel the tension building, if only he had the courage to take one step closer.

"Me too." Regina says, her eyes now seeking his for any kind of hint on what his next move will be. She wants this, so badly, she can feel her stomach begin to fill with butterflies, a tightening in her chest begins as he moves slightly more towards her, his hands move from playing with her hair to rest on her shoulders. "I hope we can do it again sometime..." Robin says as he wraps his arms around Regina to close the gap between them, they look into each others eyes, both feeling the electricity between them, knowing that they are going to take the next step, all she can think about is his lips on hers, the way he will taste when their tongues finally meet, she wants this so badly and she can tell by the desire in his eyes that he wants it too.

"Robin? Robin Locksley is that you?"

Robin turns his head, causing a gap between them, making Regina miss the closeness they had instantly. Who was this person ruining her moment with Robin, who could possibly know him here? Regina thinks as she tries to see who has caught Robins attention.

"Marian?"

 _ **A/N I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I first starting writing this story last year when I was going through a lot emotionally, which you can probably tell in the first two chapters, I was in a dark place but I am feeling better now and I hope that's reflecting in my writing. I want Regina to get better and she will, the narrator will still be there but not as dark as it was previously. I also just wanted to say a special thank you to Amber, she has been amazing checking this story for me, she is an absolute babe and you can all follow her on twitter amberjenkinsx if you like the story please let me know? I'm not sure if it's any good! I am not a writer, I definitely want to put that out there! I know there is a lot of he said she said and I will try to fix that in future chapters... guess I will have to look into writing classes! Feel free to tweet me jessicaregal1**_

 _ **I wonder what's going to happen with Marian? Until next time...**_


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